You Give Me Fever … And I’ll Return The Favor

The time has come, Herr Devlin said,

To talk of many things,

Of taking temps in naughty rears,

Of how much ginger stings –

And why her bum is boiling hot,

And whether hot sauce clings.

-With apologies to you-know-who.

No doubt you have heard this whine – “Please don’t put that in THERE!” A girl can be very fussy about her tender rear portal, and just as surely guys are fascinated and intrigued by this tiny, tight, delicate entryway. Yes, it is designed as an exit way, but do we care? Of course we don’t. It is the heart of a girl’s bottom, its focal point, and although we may not always dare or even care to deal with it during discipline, we always are aware of its existence, and smile when we see it exposed as she bucks and kicks and writhes beneath the claps and slaps and stings that are her just desert, and deepest desire.

It isn’t any news flash that occasionally we like to explore further, to investigate, and if she’s not feeling well, that’s a perfect reason to get a really close look while taking her temperature. And if you do, get a nice long glass thermometer, the fatter the better. Those boxy digital ones are okay if someone really is ill, but this is playtime, boys and girls, so go with the traditional, the tried and true. And be sure to spread her cheeks wide apart, just to be absolutely certain of your target. You’ll need lubricant, of course, which should be applied directly to her puckered little rose, and a bit inside of course, as well as to the thermometer, for maximum slipperiness. I recommend good old Vaseline. To some girls, just the popping sound the lid makes when the jar is opened shoots squirmy quivers through all erotic receptors.

But Herr Devlin, you respond Socratically, such anal exposure is quite embarrassing to a girl, humiliating in fact, is it not?

It is indeed, Grasshopper, I reply Carradineally, and I have it on good authority that such humiliation heightens the girl’s enjoyment of her discipline session. But it has to be her chastiser’s idea, his initiative, not only to bare her bottom for a hard spanking, but to cause further embarrassment by examining her most intimate secrets, to touch her there, and perhaps to insert awful, intrusive devices where no healthy, non-hospitalized girl should have devices inserted.

Gasp! She consents not to these anal intrusions, Herr Devlin?

Of course she does, but she never can ask for such things outright, so as not to appear overly sluttish. Now shut up with the quasi-Elizabethan delivery, and quit calling me Herr Devlin. I wrote that only because it fit the poem’s meter. I’ll pontificate on my own from here, thank you very much.

Girls who need to be spanked also are highly anal erotic, to my certain knowledge. That should come as no surprise, because most people experience more or less agreeable twinges with gentle anal stimulation, actual medical procedures being the exception in most cases – mine for sure. Yuck! But girls into spanking are more needful of these feelings, and guys into spanking more sensitive to their needs, so when a guy has his girl firmly in hand, clasped over his lap or held down on a bed with her adorable bottom bare, warm and pink from a strict spanking, it’s only natural that he explore her private recesses, and quite natural that she welcome such intimate advances, although verbal dissension also is common. A girl has to maintain a sense of modesty and decorum, after all, and accepting such degrading treatment without at least token resistance would not only spoil the illusion of dominance and submission, but give the guy the idea that she wants something besides a thermometer thrust into her delicate orifice. Yeah okay, probably she does, but I’ll save that discussion for later.

There are several thermometer scenes in my books. Most or all of the Maid novels include their use, as do many of the collected stories. Gwen’s character receives a LOT of such attention. In fact, she herself wrote many of her character’s lines for these scenes although she didn’t know at the time she was doing so. And since I mentioned it in the preamble, I should say a word or three about ginger. The ‘ginger fig’ that was supposed to have been used as punishment in the 19^th century may be more legend than fact, but the story goes that a plug of fresh, peeled ginger root was inserted into a girl’s anus, and the resulting irritation kept her buttocks parted and thrust out for a whipping with a cane or birch.

Such inventive cruelty sounds a bit of a stretch even for sexually repressed and repressive Victorians, but the procedure had its basis in the practice of inserting just that sort of thing into a horse’s anus to keep its tail high during dressage. I learned about ginger figging from a story in “The Pearl,” but when Gwen mentioned it to me at some point, much to her regret as it turned out, I felt duty bound to write my own version. In Maid Volume V, Gwen’s character received something Professor Travis called a ‘ginger treat,’ an anal plug coated with a mixture of K-Y Jelly and ginger powder, rather than an actual finger-sized piece of root. I thought it quite effective, the scene that is. Gwen thought it was WAY over the top and embarrassing as hell, but admitted she had only herself to blame.

So, DOES hot sauce cling? Of course it does – to tacos and burritos, anyhow. You guys might like to sprinkle a bit of Tabasco into her sensitive cleft to see how she reacts, but I never have. I wrote that bit in the poem simply because I couldn’t come up with a line that rhymed and scanned any better.

That is all.

Devlin out.